Rocky Mountain Moms Blog

Ultrasounds, x-rays and enemas ... oh my!

I grew up hearing how as, a Mom, there's nothing you want more than to take away your child's pain.  I now know what that really means.

It's the night before we were supposed to drive back to Denver and our son starts getting fussy and soon moves into inconsolable.  Our kiddo gives us bedtime kisses and happily sleeps for eleven hours at night.  This kiddo was waking every 2.5 hours screaming.  There were intermittent moments of calm, but mostly crying and screaming.

We go down the checklist:

* diaper

* gas

* hunger

* thirst

* a hair wrapped around something it shouldn't 

* teething

When all of those were met with satisfactory results, we drove around for an hour.  Damn!  He's still awake.  We drove around for another hour.  Sleep.  Ahhh ... 

Two hours later, screaming.  

Looking for work: Why does it feel like I'm dating again?

I've been a freelance writer for 17 years, and during that time, I was lucky enough to have a big corporate client who never stopped sending work my way. I cranked out copy furiously, day after day, week after week, month and month, never worrying about where the next job would come from. But then the economy collapsed -- and my gravy train derailed. Now after a long job search, I've finally found work again. As I think about the experience of ending one long-time client relationship and building a couple of new ones, I'm struck by how much the whole thing felt like Dating 2.0. Here's how it all went down.

The beginning of the end. Nothing was really wrong with our relationship, but things weren't right either. The phone didn't ring. The emails dwindled. And on those rare occasions when I'd hear from him, he had very little to say. Then, when I tried to pin him down about the future, he was evasive.

Dumped. On that fateful day when he severed our relationship, he used those infamous words. "It's not you. It's me. I'm the one with the problem. You're great. I'd love to stay with you forever, but I just can't commit to you or anyone else right now."

Depressed. Cut loose from a long relationship, I did what any normal girl would do. Put on my yoga pants. Lost myself in Jerry Springer. Ate bowl after bowl of cold macaroni and cheese.

Some words are just too long to say

Ok guys, get your shoes on and head out to the car!

The v or the hi?

Huh?

The v or the hi?

Dude, it's 7:30 in the morning and the caffeine hasn't hit yet. What are you talking about?

The van or the hybrid?

<Good grief.> The van. Just like every other morning. The van.

Small Town Celebration

Our small town began its annual Fourth of July celebration today, kicking off a week-long celebration with a pancake breakfast in the park.  My co-workers and I walked over this morning and had breakfast while The Boss stayed at the office to answer phones; we do it every year, and then spend the rest of the morning complaining about how full we are, how sleepy we are as we slip into the wonderful, carb-induced coma which comes from pancakes and hash-browns. 

This is my town at its finest, though.  The Kiwanis Club members frying sausage in their little green aprons while in the background someone is singing a terrible rendition of "God Bless America."  At 10:00, the Catholic church will send into the air the beginnings of tamale-scented steam, while right next door the Methodist Boost begins to shuck hundreds of ears of corn to boil and slather with butter.  At lunchtime, there will be throngs of people flocking to the square to eat lunch and buy raffle tickets for different things,  children screaming aloud with pleasure and with pain, and always, always, the scent of popcorn and cotton candy and sweat.  A little slice of America right smack dab in the middle of our podunk Idaho town.

Testimony by Anita Shreve: A Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Club

This month, for Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers' monthly book club, we read a novel that many of us, as mothers, found tough to read. But probably every mother should read it. And their teenagers too - especially their teenagers.

Join in as Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers discuss the book Testimony by Anita Shreve.

• DC Metro Moms Blog's Amy G. leads us off with hoping she has done enough
• Wife and Mommy from Wife and Mommy thinks of all the moments she knew her life would never be the same
• Jennifer from Connect with your Teens discusses the ramifications and repercussions of teenage drinking
• Melanie from Tales from the Crib forecasts the future
• Bonggamom from Finding Bonggamom remembers temptation
• The Fabulous Miss S from Fabulous Miss S screamed in her head "No! Don't do it!"
• Silicon Valley Diva from Blog on the Wall shudders when she thinks back to her teenage years
• Kim from Passion & Art says no one asks to be raped
• Chefdruck from Chefdruck Musings gives her own testimony
• Jessica from It's My Life thinks about when the best isn't the best after all
• Robin from Who's the Boss gives her testimony
• Gayle from Everyday I Write the Book reviews Testimony
• Christina from The Carpool Reader goes through the evolution of a marriage
• Linsey from Me Too You is glad she got caught

More posts will be put up throughout the day on our writer's personal sites, so be sure to check back to follow along.

.... and if you have a post up on YOUR personal site on this topic, please leave a comment here and we will add your link!

About the book - from the publisher Hachette Book Group:

At a New England boarding school, a sex scandal is about to break. Even more shocking than the sexual acts themselves is the fact that they were caught on videotape. A Pandora's box of revelations, the tape triggers a chorus of voices--those of the men, women, teenagers, and parents involved in the scandal--that details the ways in which lives can be derailed or destroyed in one foolish moment.

Writing with a pace and intensity surpassing even her own greatest work, Anita Shreve delivers in TESTIMONY a gripping emotional drama with the impact of a thriller. No one more compellingly explores the dark impulses that sway the lives of seeming innocents, the needs and fears that drive ordinary men and women into intolerable dilemmas, and the ways in which our best intentions can lead to our worst transgressions.

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

• Comfort Food by Kate Jacobs
• Much to Your Chagrin by Suzanne Guilette
  
• It Started with Pop-Tarts by Lori Hanson
• Who By Fire by Diana Spechler
• The White Trash Moms Handbook by Michelle Lamar
• Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues
• The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert W. Sears
• The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross

A day out with my daughter

My husband Paul loves the great outdoors. Or should I say loves BEING out in the great outdoors. I don’t. I just love looking at it from the windows of my car. So this weekend when invited to go back country camping yet again with him and our son, Nathan, I naturally declined. And so did my daughter, Lucie. We opted for the much more civilized version of fun, an All Girl Party Weekend.

Most times when the fellas are off doing father-son activities like golfing, I use it to catch up with work or household chores. Lucie doesn’t mind  and occupies her time with elaborate art projects, playing with her doll house, and watching TV marathons of iCarly. However, this weekend, even though I had several deadlines looming and three baskets of laundry that needed to be folded, I wanted to spend some one on one time mom-daughter time with her. Frankly, I miss my little Lucie. This summer she’s gone all day at camp. Then with her brother’s insane pee wee baseball schedule, family time has been scarce. Often we don’t get home until 8 or 9 p.m., and have just enough energy to take showers and brush teeth before hitting the sack.

I love spending time with Lucie, though at times she so noisy and wiggly that she gets on my nerves. Still, she’s funny, smart, a bit goofy, and adorable, just like her dad, but much easier to pick up and squeeze.

After an intense couple of weeks of planning, I got a vague idea of what she wanted to do – activities like getting our nails done and going to the “eye shadow store” whatever that was. We added a movie, “Imagine That” with Eddie Murphy, a story about a workaholic dad and his seven-year-old daughter. I knew a story about a little girl with a magic blankie would appeal to Lucie, she she has several magic blankies of her own. Lucie also needed to get her bangs cut, so between nails and hair, I knew we had to visit one of the area malls, too. Maybe I could squeeze in a few errands while we were at it - a good plan so far.

We’re off!

Video Killed the Radio Star.......

And now our biggest video stars of the 1980's are dead. It's hard to believe two such amazing icons of my teen years are gone. So many memories. So much nostalgia.

Farrah Fawcett. Honestly, it's impossible to even think of her without flipping my hair back hoping for those perfect feathers. Of course, my mind goes right from there to Lee Majors, The Six Million Dollar Man. And then the poster - you know the one, she is sitting on a striped blanket wearing a red swimsuit. Her perfectly curled and feathered hair blowing around her even more perfect smiling face. Every teen boy AND girl had it hanging on their wall. I think it was somewhere between Scott Baio and Henry Winkler in my room.

Cancer is an ugly, horrible thing. I should know. I've watched my mother-in-law and my husband go through it. It is truly sad to know such a beautiful person was taken in such an ugly way. RIP Farrah, Rest In Peace.

Dear Kate: Welcome to Single Motherhood

Dear Kate So it's official -- Jon and Kate Plus 8 will now be Jon and Kate's 8 Divided by 2. After lawyers and paperwork and arguments and signatures Kate, mother of eight will become Kate, single mother of eight. Her life will forever change in ways she can't even imagine so based on personal experience and that of my single mom friends I thought I'd give her a heads up of what to expect...

• If you think you've cried yourself out, think again. Moments and circumstances will jump up and smack you down. Being a single parent is not for wimps. You'll feel overwhelmed. You'll feel like you're doing everything and good at nothing.

• Your ex-husband will become a party animal. Women will be all over him (still). Single dads are like puppies. Women love to take them in. He will have lots of dates. Women will date him because of the children. Men will not date you for the same reason.

Continue reading on our sister site, 50-something Moms Blog.

When The Child’s Gone Wild

Grrrrrr. I can smell her rage.  She paces back and forth in her room like a caged animal. Self-righteous ire flashes in her face.  I brace for the poison dart, waiting for her to loft an “I hate you” my way.  I know it’s coming; it hasn’t yet, but it will.  And it’s going to sting.  She’s eight going on sixteen and angry like the wolf.   She rolls her eyes, she yells, she turns a brilliant shade of livid purple, and yet it is ok.  It has to be. I’m her mother.  I love her, and I will continue to love her, no matter what.

So goes this unconditional love of a mother for her child.  I feel it. I get it.  It exists precisely for moments like this, to keep us from wringing their indignant little necks.  What it doesn’t do is tell me how to keep this plastic mom grin plastered to my face when inside my blood boils in exactly the same way.  My feisty anger flares just as wildly.  Of course it does, that temper took the DNA Direct straight from my blood to hers. 

To hear her tell it, I don’t know what she is feeling.  I don’t understand her.

Kill your television

I had an epiphany while I was on my morning walk yesterday: it's time to pull the plug on my t.v. 

My kids have been extra whiny lately begging for every last product they see on a commercial, my house is a mess, I'm plugging my children into the t.v. to keep them happy while I work, and my stress level is through the roof.  Something's gotta give, and it's going to be the television.

Growing up I was a total t.v. junkie during the summer.  I wasn't really allowed to watch during the school year, but the summer was a different story.  Both my parents worked full-time, so I was left to my own entertainment devices; once my mile high list of chores was finished, the first thing I did was plop down in front of the t.v. to veg.  I'm not opposed to television at all, I completely understand its merits.  I'll be the first to say that I self-medicate with a crappy Lifetime movie, or a summer chick flick when things get hard for me.  And I didn't really think it was a problem until my children were refusing to go to bed until they'd watched their nightly fill of Spongebob Squarepants.

Slow Down, You're Going Too Fast

He is 5 and unstoppable. On his Hot Wheels bike, training wheels barely touching the ground anymore, he is super speedy. I can't keep him next to me when he rides, I walk too slow. He points out all of the people who aren't being safe, no helmet on, and waits for me at corners. He is growing so fast, some days I just pray that time would slow down.

Two weeks ago that sweet boy and his sisters and I went for a walk. He on his bike, one girl in the stroller, the other strapped to me. He is always a good half a block ahead of me. Kindly old men comment on how I need to walk faster to keep up with him. Teenage girls ooh and ahh over how cute he is in his glasses, helmet and training wheels. Other Mothers pass us by and we exchange a look of knowing. They are all right. He is fast, cute, and mine.

Call me old-fashioned ...

I may be old-fashioned, but I believe that the mailman (I know, "postal carrier" is the PC way of saying it), but I believe the mailman should wear a uniform!  Today, I'm sitting on my porch as the mailman pulls up in the mailtruck.  Out hops a guy that looks like he just got done riding his bike.  He had on cargo shorts, a t-shirt, a floppy hat and flip flops.

Flip flops?!

We live in a pretty hip neighborhood in Denver.  But, are we that cool, er lax, that even that uniformed profession is no longer uniformed?

Seriously, when did our country get so relaxed that our mail carriers don't have to wear a uniform anymore?  Don't get me wrong, I fully embraced casual Friday's when I was in the corporate world.  When I went into the private sector, jeans was a daily uniform for me.  I get casual.

Bucket list 101

You know what a "bucket list" is right?  The list of things you really want to do before you die?  I didn't realize I had one until I started planning my family road trip for this Summer.  We're a road tripping family, and I have to say, it's a way to experience your family in a way you just can't replicate flying first-class; not that I wouldn't jump at the chance to do that. 

So I planned this 3-week-road-trip with my family: my husband got the time off work, we pulled my daughter out of school a few days early, we found someone to water the plants and mow the lawn, and we stopped the mail: we were road trip ready.

I had a few things on the bucket list I was planning to cross off my list, the first and foremost of which was driving down the Pacific Coast Highway with my family.  My husband and I used to fantasize about it when we were dating as poor kids in college, 'Wouldn't it be the coolest thing ever to drive down the whole coast of California for weeks on end, all on PCH, just for fun?', and then the cosmic gods aligned just right and we were on our way. 

Girls Roadtrip: Destination Coldplay Live in Omaha, Nebraska

Back in November I had the pleasure of seeing Coldplay live at an arena in Denver. Now I have to admit I am not much of an arena fan, I prefer intimate venues to see live music. But after that night, my opinion changed. Coldplay made an arena feel intimate. I left the show wanting more, also knowing in the back of my mind it would be a long time before I would be able to see Coldplay live again. But then their tour returned to the States in May. I did some research. I found the closest city they would be playing to Colorado and made a plea to friends to see if anyone wanted to join me. I found a few takers and one friend that was serious enough to join me. A five hundred mile roadtrip, one thousand miles roundtrip, a concert, two days, and some conversation. Off to Omaha we set out...

Friday night before the show, I was shaking my head in disbelief. Was I really driving to Omaha, Nebraska to see Coldplay? Am I crazy or what? I continued to pack my bag, it's strange packing for one night and just myself. Rarely does that happen. 

Ultrasounds, x-rays and enemas ... oh my!

I grew up hearing how as, a Mom, there's nothing you want more than to take away your child's pain.  I now know what that really means.

It's the night before we were supposed to drive back to Denver and our son starts getting fussy and soon moves into inconsolable.  Our kiddo gives us bedtime kisses and happily sleeps for eleven hours at night.  This kiddo was waking every 2.5 hours screaming.  There were intermittent moments of calm, but mostly crying and screaming.

We go down the checklist:

* diaper

* gas

* hunger

* thirst

* a hair wrapped around something it shouldn't 

* teething

When all of those were met with satisfactory results, we drove around for an hour.  Damn!  He's still awake.  We drove around for another hour.  Sleep.  Ahhh ... 

Two hours later, screaming.  

Looking for work: Why does it feel like I'm dating again?

I've been a freelance writer for 17 years, and during that time, I was lucky enough to have a big corporate client who never stopped sending work my way. I cranked out copy furiously, day after day, week after week, month and month, never worrying about where the next job would come from. But then the economy collapsed -- and my gravy train derailed. Now after a long job search, I've finally found work again. As I think about the experience of ending one long-time client relationship and building a couple of new ones, I'm struck by how much the whole thing felt like Dating 2.0. Here's how it all went down.

The beginning of the end. Nothing was really wrong with our relationship, but things weren't right either. The phone didn't ring. The emails dwindled. And on those rare occasions when I'd hear from him, he had very little to say. Then, when I tried to pin him down about the future, he was evasive.

Dumped. On that fateful day when he severed our relationship, he used those infamous words. "It's not you. It's me. I'm the one with the problem. You're great. I'd love to stay with you forever, but I just can't commit to you or anyone else right now."

Depressed. Cut loose from a long relationship, I did what any normal girl would do. Put on my yoga pants. Lost myself in Jerry Springer. Ate bowl after bowl of cold macaroni and cheese.

Some words are just too long to say

Ok guys, get your shoes on and head out to the car!

The v or the hi?

Huh?

The v or the hi?

Dude, it's 7:30 in the morning and the caffeine hasn't hit yet. What are you talking about?

The van or the hybrid?

<Good grief.> The van. Just like every other morning. The van.

Small Town Celebration

Our small town began its annual Fourth of July celebration today, kicking off a week-long celebration with a pancake breakfast in the park.  My co-workers and I walked over this morning and had breakfast while The Boss stayed at the office to answer phones; we do it every year, and then spend the rest of the morning complaining about how full we are, how sleepy we are as we slip into the wonderful, carb-induced coma which comes from pancakes and hash-browns. 

This is my town at its finest, though.  The Kiwanis Club members frying sausage in their little green aprons while in the background someone is singing a terrible rendition of "God Bless America."  At 10:00, the Catholic church will send into the air the beginnings of tamale-scented steam, while right next door the Methodist Boost begins to shuck hundreds of ears of corn to boil and slather with butter.  At lunchtime, there will be throngs of people flocking to the square to eat lunch and buy raffle tickets for different things,  children screaming aloud with pleasure and with pain, and always, always, the scent of popcorn and cotton candy and sweat.  A little slice of America right smack dab in the middle of our podunk Idaho town.

Testimony by Anita Shreve: A Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Club

This month, for Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers' monthly book club, we read a novel that many of us, as mothers, found tough to read. But probably every mother should read it. And their teenagers too - especially their teenagers.

Join in as Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers discuss the book Testimony by Anita Shreve.

• DC Metro Moms Blog's Amy G. leads us off with hoping she has done enough
• Wife and Mommy from Wife and Mommy thinks of all the moments she knew her life would never be the same
• Jennifer from Connect with your Teens discusses the ramifications and repercussions of teenage drinking
• Melanie from Tales from the Crib forecasts the future
• Bonggamom from Finding Bonggamom remembers temptation
• The Fabulous Miss S from Fabulous Miss S screamed in her head "No! Don't do it!"
• Silicon Valley Diva from Blog on the Wall shudders when she thinks back to her teenage years
• Kim from Passion & Art says no one asks to be raped
• Chefdruck from Chefdruck Musings gives her own testimony
• Jessica from It's My Life thinks about when the best isn't the best after all
• Robin from Who's the Boss gives her testimony
• Gayle from Everyday I Write the Book reviews Testimony
• Christina from The Carpool Reader goes through the evolution of a marriage
• Linsey from Me Too You is glad she got caught

More posts will be put up throughout the day on our writer's personal sites, so be sure to check back to follow along.

.... and if you have a post up on YOUR personal site on this topic, please leave a comment here and we will add your link!

About the book - from the publisher Hachette Book Group:

At a New England boarding school, a sex scandal is about to break. Even more shocking than the sexual acts themselves is the fact that they were caught on videotape. A Pandora's box of revelations, the tape triggers a chorus of voices--those of the men, women, teenagers, and parents involved in the scandal--that details the ways in which lives can be derailed or destroyed in one foolish moment.

Writing with a pace and intensity surpassing even her own greatest work, Anita Shreve delivers in TESTIMONY a gripping emotional drama with the impact of a thriller. No one more compellingly explores the dark impulses that sway the lives of seeming innocents, the needs and fears that drive ordinary men and women into intolerable dilemmas, and the ways in which our best intentions can lead to our worst transgressions.

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

• Comfort Food by Kate Jacobs
• Much to Your Chagrin by Suzanne Guilette
  
• It Started with Pop-Tarts by Lori Hanson
• Who By Fire by Diana Spechler
• The White Trash Moms Handbook by Michelle Lamar
• Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues
• The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert W. Sears
• The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross

A day out with my daughter

My husband Paul loves the great outdoors. Or should I say loves BEING out in the great outdoors. I don’t. I just love looking at it from the windows of my car. So this weekend when invited to go back country camping yet again with him and our son, Nathan, I naturally declined. And so did my daughter, Lucie. We opted for the much more civilized version of fun, an All Girl Party Weekend.

Most times when the fellas are off doing father-son activities like golfing, I use it to catch up with work or household chores. Lucie doesn’t mind  and occupies her time with elaborate art projects, playing with her doll house, and watching TV marathons of iCarly. However, this weekend, even though I had several deadlines looming and three baskets of laundry that needed to be folded, I wanted to spend some one on one time mom-daughter time with her. Frankly, I miss my little Lucie. This summer she’s gone all day at camp. Then with her brother’s insane pee wee baseball schedule, family time has been scarce. Often we don’t get home until 8 or 9 p.m., and have just enough energy to take showers and brush teeth before hitting the sack.

I love spending time with Lucie, though at times she so noisy and wiggly that she gets on my nerves. Still, she’s funny, smart, a bit goofy, and adorable, just like her dad, but much easier to pick up and squeeze.

After an intense couple of weeks of planning, I got a vague idea of what she wanted to do – activities like getting our nails done and going to the “eye shadow store” whatever that was. We added a movie, “Imagine That” with Eddie Murphy, a story about a workaholic dad and his seven-year-old daughter. I knew a story about a little girl with a magic blankie would appeal to Lucie, she she has several magic blankies of her own. Lucie also needed to get her bangs cut, so between nails and hair, I knew we had to visit one of the area malls, too. Maybe I could squeeze in a few errands while we were at it - a good plan so far.

We’re off!

Video Killed the Radio Star.......

And now our biggest video stars of the 1980's are dead. It's hard to believe two such amazing icons of my teen years are gone. So many memories. So much nostalgia.

Farrah Fawcett. Honestly, it's impossible to even think of her without flipping my hair back hoping for those perfect feathers. Of course, my mind goes right from there to Lee Majors, The Six Million Dollar Man. And then the poster - you know the one, she is sitting on a striped blanket wearing a red swimsuit. Her perfectly curled and feathered hair blowing around her even more perfect smiling face. Every teen boy AND girl had it hanging on their wall. I think it was somewhere between Scott Baio and Henry Winkler in my room.

Cancer is an ugly, horrible thing. I should know. I've watched my mother-in-law and my husband go through it. It is truly sad to know such a beautiful person was taken in such an ugly way. RIP Farrah, Rest In Peace.

Dear Kate: Welcome to Single Motherhood

Dear Kate So it's official -- Jon and Kate Plus 8 will now be Jon and Kate's 8 Divided by 2. After lawyers and paperwork and arguments and signatures Kate, mother of eight will become Kate, single mother of eight. Her life will forever change in ways she can't even imagine so based on personal experience and that of my single mom friends I thought I'd give her a heads up of what to expect...

• If you think you've cried yourself out, think again. Moments and circumstances will jump up and smack you down. Being a single parent is not for wimps. You'll feel overwhelmed. You'll feel like you're doing everything and good at nothing.

• Your ex-husband will become a party animal. Women will be all over him (still). Single dads are like puppies. Women love to take them in. He will have lots of dates. Women will date him because of the children. Men will not date you for the same reason.

Continue reading on our sister site, 50-something Moms Blog.

When The Child’s Gone Wild

Grrrrrr. I can smell her rage.  She paces back and forth in her room like a caged animal. Self-righteous ire flashes in her face.  I brace for the poison dart, waiting for her to loft an “I hate you” my way.  I know it’s coming; it hasn’t yet, but it will.  And it’s going to sting.  She’s eight going on sixteen and angry like the wolf.   She rolls her eyes, she yells, she turns a brilliant shade of livid purple, and yet it is ok.  It has to be. I’m her mother.  I love her, and I will continue to love her, no matter what.

So goes this unconditional love of a mother for her child.  I feel it. I get it.  It exists precisely for moments like this, to keep us from wringing their indignant little necks.  What it doesn’t do is tell me how to keep this plastic mom grin plastered to my face when inside my blood boils in exactly the same way.  My feisty anger flares just as wildly.  Of course it does, that temper took the DNA Direct straight from my blood to hers. 

To hear her tell it, I don’t know what she is feeling.  I don’t understand her.

Kill your television

I had an epiphany while I was on my morning walk yesterday: it's time to pull the plug on my t.v. 

My kids have been extra whiny lately begging for every last product they see on a commercial, my house is a mess, I'm plugging my children into the t.v. to keep them happy while I work, and my stress level is through the roof.  Something's gotta give, and it's going to be the television.

Growing up I was a total t.v. junkie during the summer.  I wasn't really allowed to watch during the school year, but the summer was a different story.  Both my parents worked full-time, so I was left to my own entertainment devices; once my mile high list of chores was finished, the first thing I did was plop down in front of the t.v. to veg.  I'm not opposed to television at all, I completely understand its merits.  I'll be the first to say that I self-medicate with a crappy Lifetime movie, or a summer chick flick when things get hard for me.  And I didn't really think it was a problem until my children were refusing to go to bed until they'd watched their nightly fill of Spongebob Squarepants.